waxing lyrical - the angst within

there are times when i feel empathy towards it, that poor lost soul oh so misguided & deluded. but for the vast majority of the time, i just feel like grabbing it by its shoulders & shaking it real hard to get some sense in.

is it human nature to always believe that we are the best despite what other people say? maybe that so called air of superiority stems from a severe lack of confidence & inferiority? you don't see it at first. but slowly & surely, it creeps up over you and threatens to engulf you with its stifling hot air.. the hot air that one always boasts of. but what goes up, always comes down.. that's the law of gravity.

perhaps i should learn to cut loose and not take things so seriously. but something about that smugness just irritates the hell out of me. and like everything else, you have to grin & bear it.

it might not be too early for me to start searching for my own refuge.. like an oasis in the desert. the Gobi's too far away, while the Sahara doesn't entice me. i suppose i'll have to be content with good ole' Hangang. i'm not ready to return to the tropical waters as of now. Although someone has been enticing me with a nice fat carrot over there, but i guess i'll pass for now.

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ended up spending USD$50 at www.bookdepository.co.uk for 6 books. got a couple of chick lit books + murakami. am eagerly anticipating their arrival. somehow, i feel starved of good literature. perhaps its the fact that i'm placed in a non-english environment, so much so that my inner shakesphere's struggling to get out..i used to read a lot more in JC/sec sch, probably due to mine being in the arts faculty.. i probably had a lot more time on my hands then. i really enjoyed the carefreeness of studying then. Arts was really a whole lot less taxing than your typical science combination.

I sometimes wonder what would have been had I chosen to major in literature at NUS instead. would i still be here? would i have been happier in my job? would i even be able to find a proper job? but i guess this is the path that God has chosen for me & though its not that bad, i'm waiting to see how it'll become even better....